Authenticity in Coaching: How to Overcome Insecurity and Become a Confident Listing Agent
Insecurity can get the best of any agent, but when we focus on being authentic, it allows us to commit to serving, not selling.
By Darryl Davis, CSP
When I started real estate, I was 19 years old. When my dad passed away, I was 14, and due to a bad relationship with my mother, I became an emancipated minor at 16 years old. There I was, I was living on my own and got into real estate at 19. 
So, I got into real estate in 19, and honestly, I had some issues emotionally. I wasn’t really raised by anyone, so I was an angry guy, and I was insecure. I was doing the “Italian New York” thing, whatever that means! Basically, I was not a nice person to be around, and here I am in the people business, and only 19 years old.
My Start In Real Estate
I could only afford one suit when I started, and I used to take the suit and hang it up when I prospected, and then, when I got an appointment, I put the suit on go on the listing appointment. I would come back to the office and take the suit off to keep a clean, because I couldn’t afford to bring in a drycleaner. I wanted to get as many days out of that one suit as I could.
So, when I went into listing appointments in the beginning, I was very insecure, because I was talking to people twice, maybe three times my age and didn’t even own my own home, I was renting an apartment. I kept thinking, “What nerve do I have to ask these people to hire me when I don’t even own a home?”
The Shift In My Thinking
I had to shift my thinking. I had to be committed to not selling but to serving. Part of coaching people is having the choice: that I may tell them they shouldn’t list with me, or that they shouldn’t list at all. They should take the house off the market. So, in every appointment, I wasn’t committed to getting the listing, I became committed to laying out the choices.
I might have coached them to say “You know what? I don’t think you should sell your house, based on what you’re telling me.” If there was that possible choice to tell somebody “You should not sell, then you should not hire me.”
Now, going into the listing appointment with that choice, I could authentically coach them. Having that option means that now it’s about what’s best for them, not about what I want. So, I went into my appointments, knowing that maybe I wasn’t the best agent, but I was going to be the most sincere, committed agent.
Now, with that choice… If I found that they should sell, I fought for it. I would tell them, “I‘m going to work my butt off for you. I‘m going to work harder than anybody else. Why? Because I‘m hungry. Because I know I can help you guys.”
How Agents Help Their Clients
Listing their property, if that’s the right thing for them, is helping them. If you are committed to helping them, but not committed to taking the listing, you will help them understand that listing with an agent as opposed to being a FSBO is helping them.
So, when you have decided in that listing conversation that they should sell, and they should hire an agent, then darn well don’t leave without them sign that listing agreement! Why? Because that’s what’s best for them.
You’ve made the decision what’s best for these people is to hire you, or at least a REALTOR®, but if it’s to hire you, once you’ve decided that, you darn well fight for it, and do not leave without it. That’s not being a hard salesperson, that’s just being really committed to helping somebody.
As I say often, the money we earn is a direct reflection of the service we provide in helping people get to their next level in life. Serve, don’t sell. Coach, don’t close. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you make those shifts!
And when you need a little EXTRA encouragement to get over those insecurity hills? Get on the Monday morning Real Estate Coaching calls. We’re delivering a problem-solving, mindset-shifting, win-celebrating, breakdowns to breakthroughs hour+ that will set you on the path each week for more success with less stress and a lot more to smile about! Be there at 11 AM Eastern!
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Power Agents®, I would encourage you to use your Power Agent Directory® to find role-playing and integrity partners who you fit well with. We see agents doing this in our Facebook Group as well. One of the best ways to overcome insecurity and feel more confident is just practicing your listing presentation, your use of metaphors and analogies, and of course — using the affirmation and motivation tools that are provided for you in the Time Management tab of your classroom.
Not yet a Power Agent®? Click here to learn more about how you tap into that nationwide directory, get weekly coaching that will help your mindset and skillset, and have the best tools in the business to succeed with less stress and more results! Need help? Contact our team today at (800) 395-3905!