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dance the real estate dance
June 7, 2021

Everything I Needed to Know About Real Estate, I Learned from Dance Lessons 

The listing appointment is like ballroom dancing — from leading to the go-to move to ending up right where you want to be on the dance floor when the music ends. 

By Real Estate Coach and Speaker Darryl Davis, CSP 

As April and I were preparing for our wedding, I mentioned to her that I was pretty good at dancing, but my skills were more in disco, and definitely not in ballroom! I was worried that when we got out on the dance floor and the romantic music started, I was going to look like a catatonic zombie, rocking back and forth. Within 15 minutes, she had us scheduled to take dance lessons. 

Not only did I learn how to dance (move over, Disco Darryl, hello, Darryl Astaire!) but I learned some surprisingly valuable lessons about real estate, particularly the listing appointment. 

Someone Needs to Lead 

When you dance, if you are supposed to be leading but you aren’t, then the other person is automatically leadingjust like the listing appointment. Somebody is leading, and that’s either going to be you, or it’s going to be the homeowner. So, how do you make sure you are leading? You need to know the dance better than your dance partner.  

Just like you need to know the steps, you need to really know your conversation, what you plan on saying, and where you want to end up on the dance floor with your partner, the seller.  

Even If You Are Leading, You Still Have to Sense Your Partner’s Needs 

A good leader will give the partner what they need or want. It’s not just about you taking complete control and acting like a puppet master, this is a partnership, and you need to sense what the other needs or wants 

Same thing on the listing appointment. You may go into the appointment with a choreographed dance, a pre-planned conversation, but you still need to be willing to rewrite that dance based on your partner — who they are, what’s important to them, their timeframe, and so on — because things don’t always go as planned. 

When you know the dance routine really well, not only does it empower you to lead with confidence, but it also gives you the ability to quickly pivot and reinvent your dance on the spot. You can’t do that without the ability to sense what your partner wants.  

Leading Doesn’t Always Mean Being Right 

You need to be willing to let your partner make mistakes, and you need to be able to adapt to that and let go. I’m not a relationship expert, but here’s what I know: You can’t be committed to being right AND be committed to the relationship — not at the same timeWhen you’re committed to the relationship, you let go of being right, and let go of what you think it should look like, and what your partner should be doing. You accept your partner for everything they are, and everything they aren’t.  

When You Mess Up, Have a Go-To Move 

When you are learning to dance, you will mess up. When April and I mess up, our go-to move is to spin, because the spin acts like the reset button, and then we are able to get back on track with the dance.  

In the listing appointment, my go-to move was always this: I would say, “Let me ask you a question.” I didn’t know what the question was going to be, but in those precious six words and the seconds they bought me, it gave me a moment to figure out what I was going to ask.  

My other move, when I felt like I was losing control of the conversation, was to be really present. I would throw away being right, throw away the dialogues, throw away the analogies, and just really focus on being present to the homeowner. If I can really tune into the homeowner and hear who they are, and what their concerns and objections are, their comments will dictate what I should say next.  

Its like, for that moment, you give up leading the dance just so you can have a better sense of what to do.  

It’s Really Fun Dancing with the Person that You Love 

There is something special and unique when you dance with the person that you love, and this is something also true about life. We should only dance with the people in our life that we enjoy being with.  

If someone doesn’t make your heart smile, don’t participate in life with them. Don’t be in a relationship with them. Dance with the people that you want to dance with, because there are a lot happening in the world, and if it doesn’t make your heart smile, don’t dance with it. Spend your time and your energy dancing with what (and whom!) you love. 

Dance in Your Business Life

It’s the same with working with certain clients, or co-workers. If having that relationship is more aggravating than enjoyable, don’t be in it. 

TIP: Tony Robbins dives into the reasons WHY we should surround ourselves with people we genuinely like in his article, “How To Surround Yourself With Good People.” 

What’s Next? 

Are you ready to start taking things to the Next Level®Start by really being present with your sellers and learning to master the Listing Conversation. When you do – you’ll feel like you’re DANCING! 

Power Agents®when it comes to the mastering the listing appointment dance, find everything you need (and plenty that you didn’t know was even there!) in the Listing Appointment tab of the classroom.


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